Windowpanes
by kate avalanche
Summary: AU, Religion is law and all but the most basic technology is gone. Children are hostages to ensure adults' obedience. And those are the odds two boys named Demyx and Zexion are up against. Zemyx, Akuroku, Soriku, Cleon, onesided DemXNam hints
1. An Open Window

Ok, my public speech teacher says to NEVER start with an apology or an excuse…and yet that's exactly what I'm doing. Go me…

Anyway, unless you count my coming up with plots for my sister's doujinshis, I have never written anything for the KH fandom before. This is mostly because I'm so worried about ruining the characters everyone loves… Seriously, before I could get up the nerve to even brainstorm for this, I read Dualism's A Dissertation on Zemyx so I could get a better idea of the boys I love to death and the dynamics of the pairing.

That said, I've tried to be as true to the characters as possible, keeping them how I imagine they were meant to be.

Ooh, and they talk funny in the beginning because they're 5 and 6. It's not because I made them retarded.

* * *

Shhh! We don't want to get caught!"

"Demmy, we're gonna get in trouble. Sister Elena told everyone to stay in bed, she knows about last time!"

"Come on Zexy, you worry too much," the blond boy grinned, tugging his friend along. "Anyway, you gots to see this! It's real pretty, but awful cold, so I don't wanna go up all by myself! You're always nice and snuggly warm, even if you _do_ get all grumpy when I wake you up…and we're to the stairs. You wanna lean on me so your foot don't hurt so much?"

The smaller boy pushed shaggy grey hair out of his eyes and glanced down at the foot in question, "No Demmy, I'll be ok," he smiled, taking the lead up the steps to demonstrate. The smile quickly turned to a wince, but when the blond moved to help him, he shook his head and kept going, his knuckles white as they gripped the smooth, spiraling railing.

"But Zexy, you'll-"

"Demmy, no."

They climbed the rest of the way in relative silence, and then

"You ok Zexy?"

"Yeah, I'm ok, but where are we going?" Blue-grey eyes looked up and down the cobweb, squinting to see past the thick layers of cobwebs in every corner; his hand reached out to the wall to steady himself.

"It's a secret Zexy! But we're alllllllllmost there," he took the boy's hand in his and led him down the corridor and through a door that had been left ajar, the dust around it worn away and the cobwebs absent.

"Ooh, I almost forgot, close your eyes Zexy."

The boy obeyed, but even if he hadn't, it was irrelevant. The blond had placed his hand over his friend's eyes, so gently it was as if he was worried about breaking him. With the smaller boy's delicate build, it wasn't all that irrational a fear.

"Oooooooooooo-kay." He led him across the room slowly, his hand still over the blue-grey eyes. Zexy could feel the temperature drop as dramatically as if someone had suddenly thrown open a-

"Here it is Zexy, look!"

Demmy pulled away his hand. The two boys were standing in front of a small, round window, which had iced over in tiny, crystalline patterns.

"Erm…it's…very pretty ice Demmy," the blond flashed him a confused face and then turned to the window.

"Oops!" His cheeks went pink, though that might just have been from the cold, "Sorry Zexy, I s'pose the ice _is _pretty, but I wanted to look _out_ the window."

He blew warm breath on the glass, sending the crystals sliding downward to drip onto the dusty floor below. Wiping the trails of moisture almost reverently, he pulled Zexy close so they could both look out of the tiny window.

The smaller boy sucked in his breath' what they saw was one of the most stunning things he'd ever seen in his admittedly short life. The city they'd always lived in but had never actually one out into, and only seen in the tiniest snatches through gaps in walls was sprawled out before them. Everything had the thinnest layer of ice. Trees glittered like chandeliers. Building twinkled like faery tale cottages or palaces. Even the ruins left over from constant uprisings looked peaceful. Nothing was moving, and if they hadn't known better, the boys wouldn't have believed it was all real.

"Zexy? Zexy, why're you crying? Do you hurt somewhere?"

He opened his mouth to answer, but instead Zexy threw his arms around the blond and sobbed. For a minute, poor Demmy had no idea what to do. Then instinct kicked in, and he tucked the head of shaggy, grey hair under his chin with one hand, wrapping the other tightly around his friend.

"Demyx, I know you're up here. This is the last time you _ever_ try something like this," a cold voice came through the door and both boys' heads snapped in the direction of the sound.

"Demmy, we're gonna get in trouble! She's gonna put me in the room, I can't go back to the room Demmy, I just cant!" The sound of footsteps on the hardwood grew closer and the smaller boy clutched Demyx tighter, whimpering softly. Demyx looked at the window, then the door, then the window again. A light came over aquamarine eyes.

"Don't worry Zexy, it's ok, but you have to let go for a second, 'k?" He smiled what he hoped was a reassuring smile and pried the boy's arms off of him. Zexy's whimpers grew louder, the steps came closer, and Demyx kicked his foot out at the window. The solid pane moved outward, but not enough. And worse, it made a horrible shriek as years of rust flaked away.

"So you are up here," the footsteps grew faster.

"Demmy!" blue grey eyes grew impossibly wide and Demyx kicked the window again and finally the pane fell out, clattering on the cobbles several stories below, "Demmy, what're you doing? Now she know we're-"

"We're gonna run away. They won't put you in the room anymore," he lifted Zexy and gently lowered him out of the tiny window feet first, "Hold my arms real tight, ok? The wall below you's all bumpy and you can prolly climb down it. Can you do that Zexy?" The boy's grip tightened on his arms, and Demyx's voice became pleading, "for me?"

"If I hafta…but what about you Demmy?" Looking up at Demyx, the grey hair had fallen back to reveal a thin, terrified face.

"Just go, I'll be right behind you. But I don't think it's a good idea to climb down at the same time. I might fall and hit your face on my butt," Zexy smiled weakly at that, "so you gotta go fast, and right now!" With that, he shook his hands free and gave his friend a wave.

The door was thrust open and in ran two women in the robes all women of The Church were required to wear at all times. The only skin visible was that of their fingertips; everything else was covered by coarse sackcloth or thin, translucent gauze.

"Demyx, come away from the window! These walls are here to keep you safe, why would you go _looking _for holes?" one asked, sounding less angry and more like a concerned mother.

"We're going to give you to The Mother. She'll decide what to do with you," the other one said. Hers was the voice the boys had heard earlier and she was the one Demyx shrank away from now. There was no feeling in that voice, only coldness that made him shudder more than the freezing air that came through the window frame.

"I just…I wanted to see…"he looked down and wrung his hands, hoping the kinder woman would take pity on him, buying Zexy time to run. As the two went back and forth on how to handle Demyx's transgression, he realized his last promise to his only friend had been a lie.

He was not going to be right behind him.

He was not going to escape at all.

* * *

Demyx woke up in a cold sweat. He hated those dreams, dredging up old memories he'd tried for the last eleven years to repress.

"Mmrph, Demyx? Why're you 'wake so early?" a voice from the upper bunk startled the blond.

"Sorry Sora, just a dream. You can go back to sleep."

The brunet however, propped himself up on his elbows and leaned over the edge to look at Demyx, "Nah, I'm too awake now anyway. So was this dream…like the others?" he phrased it as delicately as his just woken up mind could manage. After years of bunking with Demyx, he knew there were particular dreams that were a touchy subject with his friend.

Demyx stared forward, his eyes vacant.

"Dem?"

"Hmm?" aquamarine eyes blinked back to life, "Oh, yeah. Yeah it was." He tried for a carefree smile, but it came out more wistful, more longing for something he had a feeling was never going to come.

"Mornin' cutie."

"Riku! Where the hell did you come from?" Demyx jumped, narrowly missing bashing his head on the bottom of Sora's bunk.

"Damn, good morning to you too, you little ray of sunshine. Don't pee yourself," Riku chuckled, "So's there any particular reason as to why you're looking like a lovesick girl on this lovely, if cold enough to quite literally freeze one's ass off, morning?"

Sora leaned down over the edge of his bunk, shooting Riku a look somewhere between fear and excitement, "Riku, what're you doing here? You're not supposed to be here, and if you're cau-mmrugh!"

Riku had cut the brunet's rant off with a short kiss, and then pulled back, a self-satisfied smile on his face, "You were saying?"

"You're terrible."

"That's not what you said the other night," he gave Demyx a meaningful wink.

"…I don't even want to know," he plopped his pillow ever his face, his next words muffled, "Freaks, all of ya."

Riku raised an eyebrow thoughtfully, "In the creepy, unnatural way or the kinky way?"

"Eurgh. Too early to think about you two doing that."

Sora heaved a sigh, shaking his head at his bunkmate and boyfriend. They both had _such _issues. Not like him of course. A lone island of sanity in an ocean of crazies. He giggled at that, and then realized that the conversation had gone on without him.

"-but honestly Demy, without my Sora-snuggle-bum, I'd go insane in this prison. We need to find you someone nice. What about Nam? She's sweet."

"Riku, she may as well be my sister! …and she's a chick…"

Sora hung his torso upside down over the bunk, making his nearly chocobo-esque hair even pouftier and his big, blue eyes round, "I never knew Demmy was on _our_ team!"

"You never asked," he grimaced at the nickname, half made him want to vomit, the other reminded him of things…people he'd worked too hard not to think about.

* * *

Chapter one, she's-a done. Ok, comments, questions, critique. I like all of those!


	2. A New Start

I forgot it in the first chapter but I remembered it here! I don't own them. Want to. Don't.

* * *

"I hope you've learned your lesson Zexion. And if not, we can always do this again. However long it takes," the door opened and out walked a Sister, her hands clasped primly. She walked down the hall without a backwards glance towards the small heap on the floor of the room she'd just left.

"Zexy! Zexy, are you ok? What did they do to you?"

Demyx's frightened voice and the feeling of his cool arms around Zexion broke through the smaller boy's fugue.

"Demmy?"

"Yeah?"

"Can you help me get to my room? It hurts…"

"What hurts? What did they do to you?" Demyx asked again, but the boy had already slumped against him, messy grey hair falling to hide his closed eyes. "Ok Zexy, I'll get you back. Don't worry." The blonde's face took on a calm, protective look, but normally happy blue-green eyes shone with rage at the people who had done this to Zexion.

When Demyx reached Zexion's room, he wasn't sure how to open the door; he had two armfuls of unconscious boy. He hoped Zexion's roommate was in right then, and kicked the door. The door was quickly opened by an older boy with long blonde hair and green eyes. He took one look at the boys and his curious look melted to one of annoyance and confusion.

"Heh, what the hell happened to _him_ Dem? Come in, drop him anywhere," Demyx obeyed quickly, setting Zexion on his bed. Then he turned to the older blond.

"They put him in the room."

The boy blanched. He knew exactly what Demyx meant, everyone on the inside knew about the room, from rumours if not from personal experience.

"I'll go find Sister Aerith."

"Thanks Vexen," Demyx smiled, but it didn't quite reach his eyes. Once he heard the door click shut behind the older boy, Demyx let out a breath he hadn't know he was holding.

"Demmy?" He just barely heard his name.

"Zexy! You're ok! What d'ya need?"

Blue grey eyes cracked open the slightest bit, ashen lips parted just a sliver, "I'm so cold."

"D'you want some blankets?"

"No. Could you…could you hold me?"

"Of course," Demyx smiled, this time actually looking relieved, "if that's what you need." He curled up next to Zexion, wrapping his arms around the boy's waist and resting his cheek against Zexion's forehead.

"Zexy, you're really warm! I think you're sick or something!"

"Shh. I just wanna sleep a little. Will you stay with me?"

"But- I- ok," Demyx closed his eyes, murmuring sleepily, "But only for a little bit."

* * *

"Hey kid. Yo, wake up," Zexion felt something nudging his side, not hard enough to hurt, but enough to get his attention. He shifted so he could look up, blinking at the bright light surrounding the figure nudging him.

"Am I dead?"

The figure snorted, "Shit kid. You look it, but no. You're not dead. Come on, up we go," Zexion realized the man was holding out his hand, "Come on, I'm feeling nice now but I can pretty much guarantee you I won't be if you sit on your ass while people are trying to help you."

Zexion took the hand and pulled himself up with a grunt, "Thanks."

"Don't mention it. No, really. I can't let the others know I'm doing something nice. I'm kind of the resident lazy ass who doesn't give a shit. But you looked kinda dead there, and I figure dying on the street's worse than a ragging from Cid or Leon or whoever," he started walking, then paused and motioned for Zexion to follow. Zexion quickly got the hint.

"…I'm Zexion."

"I'm not gonna remember that," the man grinned, running a hand through messy red hair, "but nice to meet you anyway, Zex…something. I'm Reno."

After that was said, the man made no further attempts at conversation, and Zexion was only too happy to follow in silence. Nearly ten years of drifting from place to place and scrounging to survive had not made him a chatty person. Instead, he took in the city as best he could; he was having to walk quickly to keep up with Reno. Everywhere he looked he saw the evidences of the ongoing battle between the Church and its opponents. Hollow eyes that refused to meet his, everywhere grime and everything drab. Reno's hair was actually the most vibrant thing Zexion had seen in a long time. But then, it was a pretty unnatural shade of red.

"Yo, you done spacin' out on me? We're just about there, it's around this corner."

Before Zexion could ask just where "here" was, they was rounded the corner and suddenly a blur of black hit Reno full in the chest.

"Reno, you're back! Everyone said you'd gone out to get drunk and wouldn't be back until tomorrow, bitching about your headache and yelling for Leon's hangover meds but I had a feeling you'd be back sooner and I came out here to wait and – oh. Hi. Who're you?" the blur of black had turned out to be a dark haired girl dressed all in black. She had jumped onto Reno and was now sitting on his chest as if it were the most natural thing in the world.

"Yuffie, I can't fuckin' breathe. The kid's name is Zex-something. Now get the hell offa me."

"You got it!" she stood up without complaint, then turned to Zexion, "Hi Zex-something. You're probably hungry. Did Reno get you something to eat yet?"

Zexion shook his head no, too overwhelmed by the girl's personality to do much more.

"Reno! You drag poor Zex-something here and don't even feed him? He's skinnier than Axel!"

"For Chrissakes Yuf, I don't have any money."

Yuffie scowled slightly, her hands on her hips, "Well, come on it, both of you. I'll see if I can't badger Cid into making you something."

And so, completely confused, but thrilled with the idea of an edible meal, Zexion allowed himself to be led by the hand up to a shabby, but fairly large, old house.

"I'm hooooooooooooooome! And guess what I've brought with me!"

"Herpes," another redhead said in passing. He stopped short when a knife narrowly missed his jugular.

"What the hell Yuffie? You could have killed me!"

"Aw Axel," oh, so _this _was the boy Zexion had been compared to. Surely he wasn't _that_ skinny! "If I had wanted to kill you, I would have."

Zexion never would have imagined that could be said in so sweet a voice. Just who were these people?!

_Guuuuuurgle._

"Oops! Sorry Zex-something, I forgot all about getting you something to eat," she turned to Axel, "Have you seen Cid?"

Axel nodded, his anger towards Yuffie apparently gone, "He's with Cloud in his workroom trying to fix Cloud's…whatever the hell that thing is." He jerked his thumb in the direction he meant, but the girl had already run off down that hall.

"Ciiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiid! Cloooooooooooooooooud! I've got a favour to ask youuuuu!"

Zexion looked askance at Reno, but he just laughed and nodded in the direction Yuffie had gone, as if you say, "Hey, _you _were the one who wanted food," so he grudgingly ran after Yuffie, wincing every time he put his full weight on his left foot.

"Who is making all that damn noise?" a girl with short, slicked back blonde hair threw open a door and snarled.

Zexion, not even bothering to slow down, yelled over his shoulder, "Yuffie."

"Oh. Fair enough then," she closed her door, then paused and, to herself, "Wait, who's he?"

Now Zexion was thoroughly lost, and had no idea where Yuffie or Reno were, _who _Cloud or Cid were, or how to find anyone who could help. And to make matters worse, his stomach, having been promised food but not having gotten it yet, was becoming increasingly vocal…if stomachs could be vocal. Then he heard something.

"No Yuf, I'm busy. Cloud, hand me the, yeah that. Yuffie, don't – DAMMIT YUFFIE, DON'T TOUCH – "

A loud crash followed, and then a high-pitched yelp and a shout of rage that sounded like it came from a rabid bear. Several smaller crashes came close after and the sound of a door being forced open and flung closed.

"Ooh snap, he's gonna kill me in my sl- ooh hey Zex-something!"

"It's Zexion."

"That's what I said. So…um, Zexion, I don't think Cid'll be making you any lunch…"

His stomach protested loudly.

"But never fear, my cooking has yet to kill anyone!" She announced this proudly, clamping her hand around his wrist and dragging him – he assumed – towards the kitchen.

This was going to be _fun_.


	3. The Rules

Demyx ran down the halls at top speed, a small sitar in hand and smacking against his thigh with each step.

"Zexy! Where are you? I wanna show you something!" his voice bounced off the smooth stone walls, the flagstone floors. His feet slapped the floor noisily and in the light from the oil lamps, a giant smile was visible on the pale face.

Finally Demyx reached the wing where children training to be scholars were kept. He paused for breath, his hands on his knees and panting. It was a long run from the music wing to where he was now. After a moment like that, he walked down the corridor, peering in every door, quickly withdrawing each time it became apparent that he'd chosen the wrong room. Then, at last!

"Zexy!" he whispered urgently, "Is anybody there with you?"

A grey-haired head snapped up, eyes wide and the beginnings of a smile, "No, come 'ere" he waved Demyx in, his voice just as hushed. Demyx slid through the door sideways and practically scampered over to Zexion after making sure the thick wooden door was shut all the way. Only then did they seem to relax.

"So hi Demmy," Zexion pushed aside the pile of books in front of him and patted the nearest seat, "S'there something you were gonna show me?"

"Mhmm! See, I was in Instrumental today, and one of the Sisters taught me a song she knew from waaaaaaay back. Prolly from before the war! And it was really pretty, and not at all like the stuff I usually have to play! She said there were words to it too, but that she'd prob'ly get in trouble if she taught me them." At that, he looked momentarily forlorn, but then remembered why he'd come. He swung the sitar onto his lap and into position, running his thumb along the strings almost reverently, "Ok, here goes."

Zexion loved to watch Demyx play. The blond almost always looked _happy_, but it was only when he played that he looked…peaceful? No, that wasn't the right word. Content? Closer, but not quite. With his eyes closed, his eyebrows raised, his mouth just parted, and his head tilted back, he looked…pure. He was too pure for this tainted world.

Of course, those weren't his thoughts at the time, he had been only six.

"Demyx, what in the name of our Lord are you doing here? You know there is no mixing of the sects permitted! You are supposed to stay in the music wing at al times! You've been warned before young man, I think it's time you learned the consequences of your actions!"

As the Sister grabbed Demyx and dragged him into the hallway, gone was the look of purity. In its place was fear.

"No, please! Sister, I'm sor-no!" Demyx's voice echoed down the halls, followed by the snap of a whip, and stifled whimpers.

This was the consequence for _minor_ transgressions.

* * *

Demyx sat down at the breakfast table. Sora had already plopped down in the next seat over and begun heaping food onto his plate. Riku was on the other side of the hall, looking just as nonplussed as Sora. Only Demyx was twitching like a leaf.

Did no one here have emotions? Or was he the only one who showed them?

Before, Sister Aerith had caught them. Riku had left his wing of the building and come to the musicians' wing. He'd come in Demyx and Sora's room. He'd been caught breaking the rules! How could he and Sora act so calmly?

"-myx? Dem, you all right over there? You look all grey and stuff…"

"Huh?" Demyx's head snapped up, "Oh, yeah. 'M fine."

"Uh-huh," Sora obviously wasn't buying it, "You're too easy to read for you to lie. Is this about Riku and Sister Aerith? She let him off, you know."

"No— "

'Yes, it is. Look, I talked to him on the way here and he agrees that what he did was stupid and he promised that next time—"

"You just don't get it, do you? There shouldn't _be_ a 'next time'! There really shouldn't have been a '_this_ time'! You've never been in that room Sora, you don't know what happens in there! Whatever you've heard? That's probably immeasurable kinder than what really goes on inside," Demyx paused for breath, about to begin again, but Sora cut him off.

"The what does go on in there?" he spat, angry now.

"That's just it! No one knows. All you know is you'd give anything to make it stop. You know those cuts all over Riku's arms and legs?"

"The ones he got during the raid?"

Demyx shook his head, "He said they were from the raid, but I saw him after it. He only had a couple on his arms and none on his legs. It wasn't until his punishment was over and they let him out of that room that he was covered in scratches. I'd bet anything he did that to himself."

"No!" Sora set his face in a stubborn scowl, his hands over his ears like a petulant child, "There's no way Riku would—"

Demyx simply pulled up his sleeve. Faint scars covered his skin like a sick game of tic-tac-toe, where both players were Xs. He let the sleeve drop to cover the scars without a word.

"There's no way I would either. But you're alone in that room, and I know I didn't get those any other time."

The rest of breakfast was a silent affair.

"Demyx? Demyx, it's time to go."

"Huh?" the blonde's head slowly lifted; he had fallen asleep at the breakfast table, "Time to go? But I don't have to go to Choir until after lunch…"

Sister Tifa shook her head, "Sorry Demyx, no Choir today – "

"But – but it's Thursday…" despite the veil covering her face, Demyx got the distinct feeling she was avoiding his gaze. Suddenly he had an idea of where this was going and what Tifa said next only confirmed his fears.

"Demyx, you were heard talking in your sleep last night."

"About…about what?"

Tifa's voice fell to barely a whisper, "Zexion."

Demyx's mouth went dry.


	4. A Different Perspective

"Um, Zexy, why did they get mad at us a breffast?"

Zexion looked up from the book he was reading, his expression out of place on his small, child's face, "It's 'cause they think we're sick."

Demyx's eyes widened, "With what? I don't feel icky, do you?"

"No Demmy, not sick like that. See, normal girls like boys and normal boys like girls. So when they see that I like you, they get mad. It's not normal, so they want us to be normal like everybody else."

Demyx had looked confused before. Now he looked indignant, "But I like everybody! I just like you best. I don't think that makes me sick; they're just stupid!"

"But Dem, until they're not so mad anymore, maybe we shunnent- "

"No! I don't wanna be normal," and to emphasize that, he leaned over towards Zexion, brushing his lips over the pale cheek. He decided he liked the bright pink colour Zexion's face had turned, and leaned in to do it again. At the same time, the paler boy turned to say something.

"Mmph!"

Demyx sprang back, his face now flushed and his fingers to his lips, "Whoops…Zexy, I'm sor-"

"No."

"Yes, I _am _sorry!"

Zexion laughed at the blond as he scowled back.

"I meant you don't hafta be sorry."

"But I put my mouth on yours…"

Zexion grinned, poked Demyx in the side to get him to look up, "Do I look mad about it?"

Aquamarine eyes narrowed, analyzing. "Nope. You look happy," his face relaxed, "You look awful happy Zexy."

"That's 'cause I am," and this time it was Zexion who leaned forward, who brushed his lips against Demyx's.

But it was Demyx who pressed back, smiling like an idiot.

* * *

Poke.

Poke poke.

Poke jab.

"Zeeeeeeeeeeeeexion. Zeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeexyyyyyyyyyyyyy. ZEXY!"

"Uwah! Whathefuh? What?"

"Damn, how did you fall asleep? It's only been twenty minutes, tops," the face swam into focus as Zexion blinked, "I made spaghetti, I figure that's pretty fail-safe. Get up. Come _on _you bum!"

"Five more minutes, Yuffie?"

"The food'll be gone by then. There's about a dozen people in this castle besides you and me, and trust me, they all eat like starving dogs. Of course, for Axel, that's because he is one."

"I heard that you ass."

"An ass who made spaghetti."

"Have I mentioned my profound and undying love for you recently?" Axel noticed Zexion, still half-asleep at the kitchen table, "Hey newbie. Didn't see you there." He turned back to Yuffie, jerking his head in Zexion's direction, "You make your freaking godly spaghetti for him, but once you told me if I wanted a drink that the toilet was unoccupied. I'm not feeling the love here."

"Aw, Axie. You know I love you. You're just really fun to piss off."

Axel sighed agreeably. He couldn't argue with that. Mostly because he was too busy inhaling pasta.

"Breathe! Chew! Oh whatever, just don't choke and die, because I fail at the Heimlich," with that, the ninja set to making two plates of spaghetti, one for herself and one for Zexion.

Once he had had finished his helping, Zexion couldn't help casting a hopeful glance towards the pot on the stove. After all, being homeless in a war zone sort of bit it into you that food equaled life.

Yuffie picked up on his look and frowned, "Sorry Zex. No seconds today. Axel beat you to it. I would'a stopped him, but he said it was for Roxie, and I can really deny that blond lump of idiocy anything," she brightened as she continued, "but Cid's in dinner tonight. Just wait, he makes the most kickass bouillabaisse…which is funny since that's such a pansy word and Cid just reeks of testosterone. But of course you didn't want to know about Cid's testosterone. Oh hey, there's Marly, just the flower power fag bag I was looking for!"

Yuffie said this as a pink-haired…_man? _was walking past the doorway. She turned her head as she walked out of the kitchen, "Hey Zex, if you wanna get cleaned up, there's a bathroom down at the end of the hall. Laters!"

Zexion sat there for a moment, enjoying the calm. After a little while of that though, he realized how…heavy the quiet was. Ever since Reno found him, his normally interaction-free life had been tossed on its side and chucked down a steep, bumpy hill.

Suddenly, after years of speaking only when unavoidable, he felt the oppressive weight of the silence.

Yuffie had mentioned getting cleaned up, and amidst his new, fairly immaculate surroundings, he felt he really did need it. He placed his dishes in the sink and wandered down the hallway.

The bathroom door clicked quietly behind him as he turned on the lights. All at once it struck him just how much he had missed real bathrooms. Normal things like toilet paper, soft towels, hot water, or even clean water in general, these things wouldn't make any other person think twice, but for Zexion, it was a luxury he had missed over the last decade.

The tiles weren't smooth, but hewn stone, bumpy under his feet. His eyes continued upward, cherry wood cabinets, light brown walls, smooth shiny mirror, some kid that looked like a zombie – wait, what?

Zexion realized that kid was him, was his reflection. It wasn't pretty. Reno hadn't been exaggerating much when he said he looked dead.

"Well, only one thing to do," he turned on the taps for the shower, waiting until it was warm and, having shed his clothes, stepped in.

A long sigh of approval was drowned out by the water pelting the shower's walls. After reveling in the feeling of hot water on his skin, he set to scouring every inch of himself.

When he was done, putting on those tatty, filthy clothes was a little painful, "But after all," he reminded himself, "I can't really run around naked, can I?"


	5. A SlipUp

Holy snap! I had not expected this to be as well recieved as it was, as quickly as it was! That's kinda freaking awesome. So here's the next chapter for everyone who liked the previous four. :)

* * *

"Roxie! Guess what!" 

"Iowanna Demmy!"

"Guess what guess what guess whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat!"

"Fine, what?"

"A-a-ahh, you have to _guess._"

"Dem-"

"Guess already!"

"Agh! Fine, I guess you're gonna 'splode right now."

"…That was a really bad guess Roxie. But nope, I get to start learnin' on the sitar! Mhmm, the Music Sister said I'd got good enough on eeeeeeeeeverything else and sitar is all they's got left! Isn't that awesome?"

"Yeah, sure, whatever."

The older blond continued to babble on animatedly about his sitar lessons, what he wanted for dinner that night, and everything in between, completely unaware of the fact that Roxas was tuning him out. Sora, Roxas' twin, just smiled at the two and shook his head.

* * *

"Demyx, Reverend Mother wants to see you now," a hand gently shook the boy from his daydreaming state. It was Namine, one of the girls who was studying and preparing to take vows. She and Demyx had been friends for the better part of two years, so her face showed her worry for what she knew waited for him behind that door, "Don't worry Dem, it'll be ok." She gave his hand a quick squeeze and pressed open the heavy, oak door. 

"Hello Demyx. Please, do sit," the woman gestured imperiously toward the chair in front of her desk.

"Now I understand you spoke in your sleep last night," Demyx stiffened; he knew what was coming, "Would you care to tell me about it?"

That was what he hated about this place. You weren't 'forced' to do anything, until the second you did something they didn't want you to do. He would have preferred upfront tyranny to this pseudo-free-will they were given.

"I'm sorry Reverend Mother. I really don't remember much of anything."

"Ah? I'm told our dear Zexion was mentioned. Do you remember anything pertaining to him?"

And so it went. The Reverend Mother would ask and Demyx would evade. She would come back with something else and he would break out a new lie. This had been how it worked for years, ever since the raid.

At first, no one had noticed Zexion was gone. Of the branches the children were broken up into, the one under the control of the scribes was by fat the least controlling. Only the brightest and most docile children went there, so the need for a close watch was rare.

And then it had happened. About three days later, there had been an explosion, a day that changed how the Church ran daily life from then on in.

All of a sudden, a huge section of wall was missing and people came pouring in, all wearing masks. Roxas and many others had escaped with those people. Sora had almost made it out as well, but he ran back to get Demyx and was caught. One of the rebels had hung back to help Sora and was caught as well. His name was Riku.

After that, they had realized that Zexion was missing too, that no one had seen him for days. It had come out that he had not been seen since just before Demyx was caught by an open window, and the Sisters were quick to put two and two together. Demyx had been questioned, interrogated, beaten, tortured. But still he refused to tell them anything. He had the scars to prove it.

"Well Demyx, if you really don't remember anything, I suppose there is no purpose to keeping you here. Namine?"

The door cracked open, a blonde head peeped in, "Yes Reverend Mother?"

"You may escort Demyx back to his room."

"Yes m'am," she pushed the door open and Demyx stood to leave.

"I trust boy, that you will tell me if you _do_ remember anything."

"Of course," he nodded, then followed Namine out and down the hall.

"Are you all right? Did she do anything to you? What did you-"

"Nam, I'm fine. I'm just exhausted."

"Oh, here. Lean on me," Namine pulled his arm across her shoulders and put hers around his waist. He instantly slumped against her. He was always worn out after interrogation, "Come on, let's get you to your room."

"Thanks Nam. Don't know what I'd do without you."

"You'd hobble to your room with your masculine pride intact and dissolve into a puddle of goop before you made it halfway there."

"Yeah, that sounds about right."

"Ooh, here we are. Ok Dem, lean against the wall; I have to open the door."

No sooner had she propped Demyx up against the wall than Sora had thrown open the door.

"Namine?" he looked confused, then noticed his friend sliding down the wall, "Oh jeez, Demyx, come on inside!"

"Hi Sora. You smell nice," Demyx was barely managing to stay awake, never mind upright as Sora and Namine struggled to drag him over to his bed.

"…I'm sure you smell nice too Dem, but let's get you some sleep, how's that sound?"

"Nice. You two are so nice. My bed feels so nice. Isn't life just nice?"

"Yeah, sure. Now go to sleep," Namine gave Sora a look that clearly asked if Demyx was always this loopy before he fell asleep. Sora rolled his eyes and nodded.

"Zexy was nice too," their eyes shot to him, wide, "Wouldn't it be nice to see him again Sora?"

"Shh. Just go to sleep Dem."

"'k. G'night…"

"Goodnight Demyx."

With that, Namine waved goodbye and shut the door, her expression betraying her concern.

* * *

A/N: Yeah, there will be teensy hints of onesided DemXNam later. Dem sees her more as a sister, Nam sort of likes him 

OOH, I forgot. The Sisters in this are, as I'm sure most of you already figured, pretty much like nuns in our world. Some are nice, some are mean, poverty, obedience, and so on. HOWEVER, they do not take a vow of chastity. So Nam liking Demyx isn't too weird for this world.

I know there's something I'm forgetting...that's gonna bother me.

And on another note, I want to hurt someone. College apps are evil. I'm pretty sure that's a level of Hell right there. College applications. Yeah. sigh I'll just go flail a shoelace in front of my cat so he goes crazy. That's always a good de-stressor.


	6. An Interesting Find

A/N: Still don't own them. And I really hate physics.

* * *

"Zexion, I love that you were willing to help me repot my violets, but you really didn't need to." 

"That's ok Sister Aerith. The library gets boring after a while, and I always like doing my work with somebody. Then it goes faster and I got somebody to talk to!" Zexion looked up, a smile on his pale face, "An' anyway, Demmy told me something to ask you this afternoon and well…" he flushed slightly and hooked one foot behind the other, looking down. Aerith got the picture.

"He did? Well then it's a good think you're here, because I have to go for a few minutes. If he comes while I'm gone, could you tell him I'll be back soon?"

"Mhmm!"

"Perfect. Thank you Zexion," even after she left, Zexion could hear her soft-soled shoes on the floors.

All alone now, Zexion smiled at the flowers in their new pots. He had potting soil underneath his fingernail and wet patches on his clothes from when he'd sloshed the watering can. Normally, his state of disarray would have repulsed him, but looking at those plants, so vibrant in his world of stone and iron, he couldn't help but smile. Not only were they a patch of colour in his largely grey world, but also served as a reminder of one of the few adults who had ever shown him kindness.

His train of thought was disrupted when he heard footsteps, too rapid to be Aerith.

"Demmy?" he called out, wondering why the steps seemed to overlap. It was almost like there was more than one person coming. What if he was about to be in trouble? He had come here with Sister Aerith, who no one would really argue with, but what if they didn't believe him? He decided that staying unseen was the best course of action, and he'd simply hope they hadn't heard him call out. He ducked behind a shelf just in time.

"Good, she's not here. Hurry up, we don't know when the old bag's coming back!" it was a boy's voice, but not one that Zexion could identify. That wasn't surprising though, children in different wings were kept apart.

"So what're we doing first?" another unfamiliar voice.

"We're just smashing everything we feel like."

"Right," and then came the sound of pottery shattering, of dirt and probably violets skittering across the floor. Were they actually destroying Sister Aerith's plants? Why? Zexion was trying to figure out whether or not to stop them when he heard two more crashes.

"Stop it! Leave Sister Aerith's things alone!" looked like he'd decided… Of course, now the two now were looking at him like they'd be smashing him on the floor next. Ok, so this was not his best thought out plan.

"Why should we stop? That old bag needs to learn her place isn't messing with the sentry wing, y'know?"

"But now it looks like you need to learn as well," the boy who had spoken first had grabbed a pair of gardening shears, the other a small, but heavy looking shovel.

Ok, definitely not his best thought out plan, Zexion thought as he backed away slowly. It really would be ridiculously convenient if either Aerith or Demyx would –

"Zexy, what's- you! You get away from my friend!"

Speak of the devil.

"Demmy, don't-"

"Agh! What the hell?" the first boy stood, dripping wet. Demyx was still, an empty watering can in his hands.

"Get away from my friend," the normally warm, bubbly voice was steely, aquamarine flashing.

"Ugh, this is getting stupid," the two boys looked at each other, "You get the pale kid, I'll get the blond. Feel free to break Aerith's stuff in the process."

"You got it boss," they stood back to back, each looking at his prospective victim.

"Demmy, I-"

"Shh. I've got it Zexy," and with no more warning that that, the boy flew at his opponent like a wildcat. He clawed and scratched and kicked, and the second boy was quick to go to the aid of the first. The strangest thing – the only thing Zexion could really focus on while all of this was happening – was that over the grunts and snarls of the two older boys, he could hear music. Demyx was humming. The whole time he was fighting, the only noise he made was his humming.

That just wasn't normal, was it?

* * *

Snip. 

Snip.

Snip.

Zexion had found a pair of scissors under the bathroom sink and put them to good use. Seeing himself in the mirror had been a shock, as he hadn't had a proper haircut in years. He'd made do with whatever sharp object he could find and his reflection in a puddle or whatever unbroken window he could find, and it had shown in his ragged mop of grey. He was almost done, had gotten everywhere except for the hair covering the right side of his face. And then –

"Dear god Zexion, if you're going to take that long, light a candle when you're done!" It was Yuffie. He threw open the door.

"I'm not-"

"Ooh, I like the hair. Very asymmetrical. Now get the hell out of the bathroom. Some of us have bodily functions to take care of as well. Well, that and Cid's organizing a dumpster dive. Figured you'd like the chance to earn your keep."

Despite the voice in Zexion's head that protested he'd only just gotten here, he shut off the bathroom light and, "What exactly is a dumpster dive?"

Yuffie brightened, "It's pretty much what it sounds like. Come on newbie, you'll love it. That is of course…unless you're a little miss priss when it comes to dirt."

"I am not!" he blurted, mentally grimacing. For having been a street kid for nearly a decade, he had never gotten over his distaste for filth, but there was no point in letting everyone else in on that. Better to do a dirty job that got him a clean place to stay than refuse and go back to the street.

"Fabulous. Then off we go," she clamped a hand on his wrist and ran down the hall, dragging him behind.

"Yo noob. Yuf. Where're you two running off to?"

"Cid called for a dumpster dive."

"Aah, we love them so," Reno smirked, "I may as well come with. Show the kid the ropes an' all."

Yuffie paused, looking put out, "And why precisely can't_ I_ teach Zex?"

"Because we let you run loose with Roxas, and you remember what happened?" When Yuffie only glared, the redhead went on, "And _that's_ why someone like me or maybe Axel or Leon – if you catch him on a good day – should be the one to teach him."

Zexion, sick of being talked about like an object, piped up, "As fun as it is being fought over, I'm not going to learn anything if we don't actually _go_."

"This is true…"

Hours later, Zexion was covered in a thin film of dust and grime and frustrated. And whenever his calm façade slipped, the man a few tables away – he was the one Yuffie had called Cid, right? - scoffed, saying that this was the easiest of the tasks dished out and that he needed to "suck it the fuck up," and "get over his damned pansy-ass self." Charming.

In all honesty, it could have been much worse. During the rundown, Cid had found out from someone that Zexion had been in the Scholar division of the Church and was bilingual. As a result, he'd been sent with a few others like him to root through the remnants of an old library. And there were familiar – relatively – faces around here. Axel was with him and had introduced him to Cloud, and in the few hours they'd been working he'd learned enough about those two to write a novel. A really, really bizarre novel, but still. Axel was a flamer in more ways than one and madly in love with Roxas – why did that name ring a bell? – but the blond still required _persuading_ as Axel had put it. He'd been the castle's drinking champion until he'd made the discovery that alcohol was wonderfully flammable. After that, he'd had the damndest time ever _finding_ any booze. Pity.

Cloud was straight – Axel openly guffawed that that – and was sick of people assuming otherwise, simply because of pictures that had been found of him in high heels and a tiara. After that, Zexion blocked the conversation out.

"Hey wait…I think I found something…" he murmured, staring at a page in the latest book he had.

"Found what?" Reno looked up and stood to walk over.

"It looks like…what's the word…plans? Ah, blueprints?"

"Schematics. They're schematics."

"And I take it schematics are important."

"Pretty damn important, yep. Let me see?"

"Yeah, sure," Zexion held up the book for Reno to take, a strange feeling in his stomach. It was familiar, but he couldn't quite place it.

"Yo, Zex, this is good stuff. You just lucky or what?"

"No, I was with the Scholars in the Church…they had me work with all kinds of books."

"Well we should thank them after we're done kicking their asses, no?" Reno grinned wolfishly, "Oh Ciiiiiiid, I think the kid found something you'd liiiiiiike."

"Then maybe Zexion should bring it over and you should shut the hell up," his mouth quirked into an almost smile, about to say something else when Reno cut in.

"Aww, Ciddy, is that any way to treat a friend who's working so hard just to help you?"

Cid just looked at the redhead a moment, and then, "Are you drunk?"

"That is a definite possibility. I would ask you the same question if I didn't already know the answer."

"…which is?"

"What is?"

"Shut up. Zexion, bring me the book? And an extra to use to bludgeon Reno?"

Zexion moved to bring him to book – but not the extra – when Reno plucked it out of his hands, holding it high above his head.

"Honestly Zex, how did you survive out there? You really need to learn the value of a bargaining chip."

"Oh for Chrissakes Reno, just give me the damn plans. And if, after all this trouble, they're not the most amazing plans ever, I won't stop Yuffie next time she tries to shave you in your sleep."

"You wouldn't! Then I'd have to tell Axel about your stash of cigarettes. He's been _dying _to find out at what temperature they spontaneously combust."

As the two continued to bicker, the threats growing less and less…threatening, Zexion realized what the feeling he'd had earlier was.

Happiness.

* * *

A/N: IT IS COMPLETE! Nyahahaha. ...oh, just review. :) 


	7. An Old Friend

A/N: IF YOU HAVE THIS ON STORY ALERT AND READ THE LAST CHAPTER WHILE IT WAS INCOMPLETE, IT'S NOW FINISHED. So you might want to go back and read the last page or so. It's not terribly long.

* * *

"So you see children, after the war, there was no stable government anywhere. Small, turbulent periods would see one regime or another, but in the end they all fell and the chaos resumes. Nearly all technology was lost, and many fell to barbarism, to senseless violence, and to despair. However," the woman paused and made a gesture like pushing glasses back up her nose, but with the veil it was hard to tell, "from amidst the many small factions there came a much larger, more unified group geared towards helping others. Can anyone tell me what that group was?"

"The Church?" a voice called from the back.

"Yes. The Church offered order, safety, hope to people who had none. You all are blessed to be here, inside these walls."

"But what about outside?" Demyx saw Zexion's horrified expression out of the corner of his eye, but he had had to ask.

"Demyx, you shouldn't trouble yourself with unimportant thi-"

"But if the Church fixed everything, why are we still in here?" he knew that once he started, there really wasn't any stopping. He saw the teacher's hands tense into balls and wondered what her face looked like under her veil. Before she could say anything though, the door to the lecture hall was thrown open.

"Sister, apologies, but I need to borrow Demyx and Zexion for a moment."

The woman at the front gave them a quick, curious look, but waved dismissively, "of course."

The boys followed silently, but from the way Demyx gripped Zexion's hand and the grim line that was Zexion's mouth, their apprehension was apparent.

Once out of the lecture hall, the woman stopped, turned around, and said, "You are no longer to share a room. That is all."

"What? Why?"

"Why?" the tone of her voice showed her shock, "You have to ask why? Boys, socialization between branches is discouraged even in group classes! Having a musician and scholar trainees share a room in unheard of, or was before you two. The only reason we allowed it was because of Zexion's last roommate's illness and the empty bed in Demyx's room. You both knew from the beginning that this was not a permanent setup, but a temporary solution."

All three were quiet, awkward for a moment, until Demyx looked up.

"But...please? Please don't take Zexy away from me."

Zexion could feel the sister's will wearing down and decided to attack from another angle.

"And Demyx is really good at getting in trouble, but I'd try extra hard to keep him out of it," he put on his warmest smile and internally chuckled when the sister faltered.

"I – I'll ask, all right? I'll see if there's anything I can do. But once Reverend Mother makes up her mind… I can't make any promises."

Both boys' faces brightened, Demyx's with unadulterated joy, Zexion's with triumph.

"In the meantime, you two should get back to lecture. Someone will get back to you about the rooms," she waved them back into the hall, nodded to the instructor, and walked in the other direction.

Zexion and Demyx: 1 The Church: infinity

Still better than nothing.

* * *

"Demyx, Hayner, you are such sweethearts."

Demyx grinned, "Thanks, but I have to ask, doesn't this kind of defeat the purpose of a punishment?"

"And why are you being punished in the first place?" Hayner wobbled as he balanced several potted plants.

"They can stick me in the kitchen if they like, but even a little scullery maid needs herbs and spices to cook. And they brighten up the place," Aerith had her veil pushed back; the heat of the kitchen was stifling.

"But _why _did they put you in the kitchen?"

Aerith waved her hand, "Oh, I did something to make Reverend Mother get her habit all in a twist. That's all right though. The last girl to get this punishment said the man who does deliveries is quite the looker," she winked at Demyx, who rolled his eeys.

"Don't, Sister. It's weird. You're like a mom to us, and I really don't think moms talk to their kids like that."

"Aww, that's sweet. And I don't care what moms do, because I like tormenting you," there was a sharp knock at the door that lead outside, "That must be him now. Would you two be willing to help bring in the deliveries?"

Demyx and Hayner nodded and found places for the last few plants Aerith had had them carry while she pushed open the heavy door.

"God in Heaven, it's you!"

"A-Aerith?"

"It's really you, I can't believe it!"

The boys turned around. Who was it that had Aerith all hot and bothered? Ew, wrong word choice.

"Boys, there's someone I want you to meet. This is Squall Le-"

"Just Leon now."

"Oh. Of course. Demyx, Hayner, this is Leon. He's my brother.

Demyx took a second to process that little tidbit. His mental overload was interrupted, and then worsened by another voice.

"Leon, are we standing here all day? Fifty pound crates of potatoes aren't fun to carry."

Had Demyx been a dog, his hackles would be up and his teeth bared, "Seifer. What the fuck are you doing here?"

"Aah, Dem. I could ask you the same thing. Why didn't you-" he stopped short when he saw Hayner behind Demyx. Instantly his face softened, "Chicken-wuss…"

"No…it can't – Seifer? But you've been gone since we were kids…"

"Hay, how come you didn't come with me? You were right behind me on the way out. What happened?" Seifer spoke in almost a whisper.

"I couldn't leave without Roxas," Hayner started, his face miserable, "but when Sora vanished, Rox wanted to go find him. That red head wouldn't let him go back though, so I said I would," he gave a wry chuckle, "I found him. And Sister Yunalesca found us. So-"

"Shit!" Hayner started at that, "Sorry Hay. Fifty pounds of potatoes on my foot…"

Demyx finally chimed in, "Lemme go grab some ice," as he went to the ice chest, he noticed that Aerith and Leon had finished unloading the deliveries without them and were sitting at the table in the corner, trying to pretend they weren't eavesdropping. He wrapped a lump of ice in a clean dishrag and handed it to Seifer, who barely registered Demyx's existence.

"I'm going back with you when you leave," said Hayner.

"No!" Aerith and Leon practically shouted.

"Hayner, you can't," Aerith looked apologetic, "If you suddenly disappeared, people would notice. There would be a huge search for you, and they'd probably find you."

At that, Leon and Seifer paled, giving each other a look. Hayner only glared ahead, his face red.

"Chicken wuss, careful. If your face sticks like that, it'll make you uglier than you already are," Hayner's glare slipped a little, "Just help us when we bring Aerith deliveries. I usually come along with Leon."

"It's be nice if you did more than just 'come along' though."

"Shut up old man," Seifer grinned.

At the sounds of people in the hallway, Aerith stood. She gave Seifer a hug and kissed Leon on the cheek, looking sad, "I miss you, you know. It's been too long."

Leon nodded, giving her hand a squeeze before leaving.

After a moment of awkward silence, Demyx sighed, "Not real chatty, your brother."

Aerith laughed, "No, not really."

* * *

A/N: I HATE PHYSICS. Seriously. Mostly because I hate math with a passion. And I hate when teachers understand their subject so well that they assume we understand all of it as well, so they expound in principles we have yet to learn, and they have yet to teach us. That's why I feel like my stomach is a black hole right now. I have this compulsive need to understand what's going on in my classes, so when I'm in the dark on WTF is going on, it makes me feel sick to my stomach.

But on a lighter note, YES, FINALLY A FREAKING DEMYX CHAPTER WITHOUT ANGST! ...ok, there's a squoodgen of HaynerXSeifer angst, but just a little.


	8. Not As Updatey As You'd Think

Holy crapweasel, it has been TOO FREAKING LONG since I wrote some more of this. I apologize, but I promise you that when I finally do get this bitch of a chapter to cooperate and be written, it will (probably) be epic. Or at least entertaining.

The good news is that the REASON it's taking so long is because 1) the chapter is being evil, but SECOND!!!, I'm in the middle of writing a oneshot which is probably the best thing I've ever written. I know I say it's a oneshot, but it's crazy long. I'm probably not even half done and it's 15 pages handwritten, and I've got tinyass handwriting.

I just realized that this update is more of a blog type update, and I realize that's not what this site is for, so I apologize! I just hate when I find a story I like and the author suddenly stops updating at allllllllllllll, with no indication of why.

Physics is kicking my ass. That's definitely a part of it. Phmeh. But I promise that I will use the spare time I have in my Journalism class (which is such a joke, but whatever) to smite - er...WRITE, yeah...write the rest of this chapter.

I find myself wanting to continue this random bloggy-type update though, and if it's pissing you off, TELL ME, I'LL NEVER DO IT AGAIN! But I found out today that I am a freaking walking spoiler. A friend of mine borrowed a disk from another friend at lunch today, and I saw that it was the anime of a certain show I won't name so I don't ruin it for MORE PEOPLE, which I loves...despite the fact that I've seen only about 40-50 minutes worth of it, and only read about 70 pages cumulative of the manga... But I got all excited and said something like, "I had no idea you liked -fill in the blank here-! Didn't you hate it when -So and so- died?!" And it turns out he didn't know anything about it...so I almost ended up with RED gatorade all down my WHITE shirt. But I'm quick and crafty. :)

I have to end this now or someone will kill me. I'll delete this sad excuse for an excuse as soon as I get the next chapter up. I hope you won't be too mad.


End file.
